A Christmas Interlude
by RequitedLove
Summary: Martin visits Louisa just before Christmas. They talk, and share unhappy childhood memories, but they intentionally, and unintentionally, do not tell each other everything.


**Disclaimer:** Doc Martin and recognizable storylines belong to Buffalo Pictures.

**A Christmas Interlude **

Louisa woke up and felt surrounded by warmth. An arm was around her middle and her back was pressed against a large chest. Martin. In her bed. Holding her. And deep asleep, judging by his steady breathing. She didn't want to wake him, but she was now wide awake. She tried to stay very still, while her mind started processing rapidly.

- oo0oo -

She was alone the previous afternoon when she received a phone call. Martin said he was coming to see her. Louisa said he didn't have to, but he said he was just outside, so there was only one thing for it. She let him in.

He actually looked as shocked to be there as she was to see him there. He said he'd had a meeting earlier, and then thought he'd visit. And there he was.

She hung his coat behind the door and led him inward. He first smelled, then saw, a small pine tree set on a table. Decorations were waiting on the floor, and she explained that it had been her evening plan. She asked him if he wouldn't mind helping. Of course he wouldn't mind.

He was charged with adding hooks to the new ornaments, which nearly all of them were. He hung a few, as well, but declined when she offered to let him top the tree. It was her tree, after all. Her shampoo and perfume made him long to take her in his arms, as did their hands touching as he passed her the ornaments.

Another pleasant odor filled his nostrils as they decorated. He discovered that she had been making dinner. He apologized and offered to leave, but she told him she always made enough for two meals, so there was, in fact, enough for the both of them. She knew he would approve of the fiber content of the green peas and brown rice sides. He followed her into her kitchenette.

A second place was set, and they ate mostly quietly. Louisa could tell he was nervous, and yet she knew he wasn't much of a conversationalist during meals. She thought he looked like he'd lost weight. She knew he wanted to look at her, but every time she looked up from her plate, he dropped his eyes to his own.

Martin thought she had never looked more beautiful. Her hair shone, and her eyes and smile were as lovely as ever. Since he didn't really talk, he tried to answer her questions as nicely as he could, making an effort not to be curt. In turn, he asked about her work. He was, as always, a very good listener.

The conversation came around to Christmases past. Martin told how he was at school later, and returned sooner, than other students. He told how he spent long breaks, including holidays, with Joan.

Louisa told how her father didn't stay around very long on Christmas Days, and after her mother left, he was there Christmas Eves for only a couple of years, then only Christmas Days, although he'd get up late, having been out late the night before.

They cleaned up the dinner, hands meeting as dishes were exchanged, Martin still enticed by Louisa's scent. He thought this might be the right time to say he hoped he was a better parent than his had been. Louisa smiled when he said it.

They went to sit on the small settee, her with a glass of wine, him with a glass of water. The wine soon made her look at him for longer periods of time, and eventually she ran her fingers through his hair. They both moved closer together at the same time and soon they kissed, Martin staying in control as he had not been drinking, but holding her possessively nonetheless. The light from candles flickered and the ornaments sparkled in reflection in the dimmed room.

It came time for them to part, her having to teach in the morning, him traveling first thing. But they didn't want to part. She knew he didn't want to leave, because he had grown sadder as the time went by. She found she didn't really want him to leave, either, so she decided to just ask him to stay.

Louisa gave Martin a guest toothbrush, and hangers for his clothing. Then he came to her bed, as he had done so very few times before, and they made love.

After, there was whispered talk of returning and Christmas and contracts and time, and although Martin felt some hope, he also felt slightly rejected, again. He didn't want to press the point, knowing that he wouldn't make her happy. She'd agreed with him when he'd said so on the day of their non-wedding, and one night together wouldn't erase the fact.

They'd fallen asleep with their arms around each other, their heads resting together on the pillow.

- oo0oo -

Louisa felt Martin stir behind her. It was more of a startle, but then he cuddled her close. He breathed her in, his nose in her hair. She hugged his arm, then turned to look at him. She brushed her hand over his head, feeling his soft hair, and they gazed at each other with sad eyes. She told him the time and they reluctantly arose to start the day.

He put on his suit while she stepped into the toilet for a few minutes, then he took a short turn. Soon it was time for him to go. With infinite sadness, he embraced her. Then, fidgeting and stuttering, he said he loved her. He left, fairly pleased that he'd finally told her.

- oo0oo -

During the school day, Louisa took a break in the lounge and cried. She cried because she'd kept her secret from Martin that she was nearly two months pregnant. It was just all too much. His visit out of the blue, their distance from one another, her job…

On the train, Martin felt near to crying, because while he'd taken so long to say he loved her, he'd forgotten to tell her what he'd figured out since their non-wedding day. That he'd only said she wouldn't make him happy because he was finishing a thought. A long, drawn-out thought – about how she couldn't be happy, knowing he would never be the sociable, demonstrative, smiling man she wanted and deserved. Her sadness would devastate him. Nothing else about her would make him unhappy. Only her unhappiness…

But he'd forgotten, and they'd parted, again, and he didn't know when he'd see her next.

They had made a Christmas memory, though. One he would cherish, because she had wanted him to stay, and was sad when they parted. And one she would cherish, because he had wanted to be with her, and wanted her to go back to Portwenn.

What they couldn't change was the fact that she had a contract to remain teaching in London through the end of the school year. Sadly, they both knew anything could happen during such a long separation.

The End

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: To choose the timing of this story, I went by the Original Air Date of Episode 3-05. I felt that Martin might have tried to visit Louisa, at least once, soon after their non-wedding.]


End file.
